Before we get started, let me lay out my book review disclaimer:

I love to read, but have three small children and other hobbies that I try to squeeze in, so for any book that makes it onto the blog, you can be guaranteed that:
     1. It is a quick read!  
     2. It is worth your time! I have to really like something to recommend it to my friends, because I value their time as much as my own.

Now let’s dive in!

In Eve in Exile and the Restoration of Femininity, Rebekah Merkle combines a sharp wit and a gift for word pictures to show how culture has shaped our thinking on femininity, and to cause Christian women to reimagine our God-given role according to biblical principles. In one quick and entertaining book, she covers the history of feminism (buckle up for that ride), the biblical framework for womanhood, and encouragement to reimagine our roles and then run the race with all we’ve got. The hardest thing about writing this review is to keep myself from just quoting the whole book; so here we go!

Boundaries

Don’t skip the intro on this one. She lays out a foundational principle not only for her book, but for life: boundaries are required to produce freedom. Contrast this with our culture’s intent on burning down every boundary. “But,” as she observes, “this obliterating of lines is not actually leading us into a light-filled, utopian future—we’re actually in the middle of watching our culture trip over its own shoelaces and fall unglamorously down the stairs.” Freedom is not the lack of boundaries, but rather, “True freedom lies in the opportunity to pursue excellence, and that opportunity is dependent on the boundaries that define and restrict the entire field of endeavor.” And as she states, because we live in a culture in which so many of the lines and social norms have been erased, we have a unique opportunity to apply scripture and rebuild femininity biblically.

Two Ditches

In the first section of the book, Merkle describes two wrong ways of thinking on the subject of femininity. First, it is easy to fall into the trap of picking an era from the past which seems to have a more “wholesome” take on womanhood and the family, and then trying to recreate that in clothing, speech, etc. This view idealizes the past, ignoring its faults. It also is an escapist approach, retreating from the world rather than taking it on with the gospel.

The second ditch women fall into in their thinking is to take on the modern idea that “fulfillment” must be found in work outside the home. In our individualistic culture, “Your personal hopes, desires, or opportunities trump all else, and sacrificing your dreams for someone else is not seen as noble, it’s seen as ludicrous.” We have all heard this in various ways (“follow your heart”, “you do you”, “treat yourself”, etc.) but is it not absolutely antithetical to the gospel? As Christians we know there is a difference between “calling” and “work”. The secular materialist worldview cannot distinguish between the two. The Lord created us for a purpose, and we will be in our “sweet spot” when we are living according to that purpose, fulfilling our God-given calling. We must not “…allow our ideals and our goals to be shaped by the unbelieving mainstream.” The blessing we have is that in our culture, if a woman wants to do something, she can go ahead and do it. As Merkle says, the “road to feminine obedience is wide open.” So let’s choose to do things that will build the kingdom, starting by building our own households.

Feminism

The second section of the book is a quick flyover of the history of feminism. It is fascinating and enlightening. And answers Merkle’s tongue-in-cheek question:

“How did it come about that our obviously natural, creational, biological role as women has become an awkward disqualification from being a respectable human?”

The stories of Mary Shelley (author of Frankenstein) and her mother, Mary Wollstonecraft, are graphic illustrations of the destruction feminism leaves in its wake. Merkle touches on big names such as Susan B. Anthony, Margaret Sanger, and Gloria Steinem. The story gets really interesting with the publication of The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan in the 1960s. The book was an answer to a very real problem of discontent and depression amongst housewives. However her proposed solution sprang from an unbiblical worldview. Friedan concluded that femininity itself was the problem, and must be left behind. Merkle summarizes: “What they needed was the opportunity to pursue careers outside the home and the liberty to leave behind their children and husbands in order to fulfill themselves.” Within a few short decades women in America had achieved this. The question then is, are women now more content and fulfilled? By way of example, Merkle shows that usage of prescription drugs by women for anxiety has actually increased since the 1960s. And women are 2 ½ times more likely than men to be on a prescription for anxiety. Clearly, the world’s answer has not worked.

One of the more fascinating aspects of this history has to do with the Industrial Revolution and advances in technology, which significantly eased the burden on homemakers. As Merkle summarizes:

“Women had just been handed a crazy blessing…But instead of deep gratitude, they began complaining. Instead of using those blessings to raise the bar and achieve more than any women had been able to achieve before them, they started fussing—basically doing their own little reenactment of the Israelites in the wilderness.”

This incredible blessing, coupled with sinful hearts and a lack of biblical worldview, actually fueled discontent among homemakers because their work suddenly became less fulfilling and less essential to the survival of their families. Women demanded to leave the home behind, having been bored by the blessing the Lord had given them.

Purpose

Section three of Eve in Exile discusses God’s purposes in creating women. A thought-provoking section, in which she gets right to the heart of the matter. If we buck against the limits God has built into our natures, what do we think about who He is? And about how He treats the ones He created in His own image? We find in the creation account in Genesis 1-2, that Eve was created to work, just as Adam was. Together they were also supposed to fill the earth. We tend to see working and filling the earth (reproduction) as mutually exclusive, but God intended for them to go hand in hand. Women were also created to glorify. We radiate God’s glory in the earth by translating abstract ideas and gospel principles into real, tangible things. We mirror Christ’s submission to the Father in our willing submission to our husbands.

Living Out That Purpose

In section four, she details more concrete ideas on what it looks like to live out these God-given purposes. She recalls the parable of the talents, and then states, “If you have a household, then you have been handed your talents by the Master, and He expects you to turn a profit on it.” She discusses Titus 2:3-5, and how that passage shows us that a woman’s role is related to gospel work, and having a strong witness in the world. Moreover,we can see in this passage that loving one’s husband and children, and caring for the home, will require learning, practice, and skill. The fact that the Lord is concerned with our obedience in these areas means it is important, kingdom work. Upon reading Titus 2, many immediately exclaim, “Are you saying a woman can’t work outside the home?!” Merkle skillfully answers this by pointing to Proverbs 31, and showing that the woman described in that passage is so fruitful and productive at home that her work spills out into commerce and activity within the community. This should be the aim of Christian women: to bless our people, not escape them. We need to be running hard, but also making sure we’re running in the right direction. The specifics of how this plays out for each person will differ. She also points out that the home is where souls are either built up, or destroyed. Fruitfulness is not simply having a quantity of children; rather we are charged to raise godly children. And if we are honest with ourselves, that is a tremendous undertaking.

Final Thoughts

Let me conclude with an apt summary quote, which, amazingly enough, was written prior to 2020: “Every family that is laughing together, loving one another, woven together by a strong woman who sees the profound importance of what she’s doing—that is enormously significant for the rebuilding of this nation.”

I have many thoughts of my own on this subject, which I hope to follow up with in a later post. But I hope this was enough to whet your appetite, persuade you to read Eve in Exile, and throw yourself joyfully into the work the Lord has given you!

Eve in Exile can be purchased at Canon Press, or on Amazon.